It all started with this article on Jezebel. In its ‘Faces of the Year – The Women‘ feature for 2011, the BBC had named the following women for each month:
- Gabrielle Giffords – January
- Adele – February
- Eman al-Obeid – March
- Pippa Middleton – April
- Nafissatou Diallo – May
- Li Na – June
- Charlene Wittstock – July
- Michelle Bachmann – August
- Dilma Rousseff – September
- The Duchess of Alba – October
- Kelsey de Santis – November
- Sweetie – December
The list includes a Congresswoman who was shot, a Libyan woman who publically accused Gaddafi’s militia of gang raping her, the maid who accused IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn of sexual assault, the first Chinese winner of a tennis Grand Slam title, a corporal who invited Justin Timberlake to the Marines Ball, a new princess and a woman who is related to a new princess but is mostly famous for her butt (pictured!). I have problems with many of these choices but it was the inclusion of Sweetie particularly that had Jezebel up in arms.
‘Who is Sweetie?’ you may well ask.
This is Sweetie (or ‘Tian Tian’). She, as you may notice, is a panda and not actually a woman. She, with her male panda partner, were brought to Edinburgh Zoo in 2011 and apparently that is all it takes to be famous in Scotland. Many of the comments on the Jezebel article complain about the reasons for some of the inclusions or point out that in no way would a male animal ever be included on a ‘men of the year’ list (although, apparently the BBC did so in ’09). But it was this comment from ‘LibraryChick‘ that really stood out for me:
‘Maybe the panda was chosen by the same people who call women “females.” So, you know, any female works. Female humans, female dogs, female pandas…they’re all females! Which is, actually, part of the problem with calling women females in the first place.’
The problem with ‘females’
Last year, I started a new job and came across a couple of men who referred to ‘females’ instead of ‘women’ or ‘girls’. For example, they say things like ‘females love to shop.’ ‘Females spend too long in the bathroom.’ ‘I don’t understand females and their make-up.’ It really bothered me but until I saw LibraryChick’s comment I couldn’t put my finger on why. Turns out, ‘female’ is totally dehumanising. I’d go on about it, but it really is that simple. It’s not just any females that spend too long in the bathroom or shop too much, it’s female humans so why not acknowledge that by calling them ‘women’? (We’ll leave the problem with generalising about a whole sex of people for another time.)
Calling women ‘females’ of non-specific species is fairly transparent evidence of the ongoing need for feminism and its fight for the recognition that women and girls are people too. It’s the feeling that female enough is close enough that has lead to women being regularly called ‘bitches’ and ‘cows’ and other non-human names. Let’s stop doing that.
‘Girl’ trouble
While we’re at it, don’t call me a ‘girl’ either. I’m in my mid-twenties and I’m only getting older. I am fully grown and physically matured female human. I am, therefore, a woman. A girl, on the other hand, is a young and non-mature female person. Calling me a ‘girl’ infantilises me and robs me of my agency as an adult. In this horrifying piece, ‘Can You Tell The Difference Between A Men’s Magazine And A Rapist?‘ a comment makes the observation that (to paraphrase): things happen to girls, while women make things happen. Even rapists agree: women are empowered, while girls are not.
A lot of people think that calling grown women ‘girls’ helps them to feel attractive. This is problematic, because we shouldn’t be finding ‘girls’ sexy. Girls have not reached the age of consent, while women have, yet a search for ‘young girl’ porn will (assuming you are not searching for child pornography, and I feel sick even writing that, so let’s roll with my assumption) will turn up innumerable pages of 18- to 20-year-old women. A lot of this has to do with society’s fetishising of youth but that doesn’t mean we should encourage it. We should be promoting women as sexy, not girls. Girls should be playing in sandpits or doing whatever it is children and teenagers do. Don’t call me one (but you can call me sexy if you like. Compliments are always appreciated).
‘… ladies’
My friend Liz has strong opinions on calling women ‘ladies’:
‘I think that it comes loaded with a preconceived set of values that are no longer relevant to me. ‘Lady’ implies a set of standards relating to acceptable femininity, e.g. ‘Ladette to Lady’, whereas ‘woman’ applies no such connotations. Ladies are polite and demure and wear skirts and aren’t loud or contrary or smelly or hairy. It’s about the artifice of feminine behaviour, to which I object.’
I personally feel that ‘ladies’ is ok (if a little classist), but I have been admittedly socialised to strive towards meeting the standards Liz mentions. I do feel that by calling women who don’t meet these standards ‘ladies’, we can broaden the definition of the term. ‘Being a lady’ is generally positive, and also implies adulthood. I am always going to be in favour of having more positive terms for adult women but I do accept the different views on this one. This may be a radical suggestion, but if in doubt, listen to how your chosen lady/woman refers to herself and follow that lead.
I am woman, hear me roar (but also don’t, because I am a person and people don’t roar)
Which leads us to my preferred, neutral and completely descriptive noun, ‘woman’. If the relevant female person has reached adulthood, you can’t go wrong calling her a woman (but not like, ‘Hey, woman’ like Murray in Clueless, more like ‘you are an awesome woman, [name]‘). By calling me a woman, you recognise me as a person, which is kind of what [my] feminism is all about.
All this being said, I do use ‘female’ as an adjective (‘a female lawyer’, ‘a female nurse’) because I think ‘a woman lawyer’ or ‘a woman nurse’ sounds grammatically ridiculous. ‘Woman’ is not an adjective and should not be used as such. But there’s no confusion about what sort of female I am (a human one), so it shouldn’t cause you any problems to call me a woman. Alright?
RESULT: Seriously, it’s not that hard.
Up next: Porn (oh no she didn’t!)
My mum doesn’t like when I use the term ‘lady’. You associate it with bring prim and proper she associates it with prostitutes.
I never thought about the word female, but now I do I realise that I use the word male in the same derogatory type way. ‘what would you know, you’re a male.’
wow, your mum associates ‘lady’ with prostitutes? I think I need more information! Would you be at all able to ask her why?
I believe their mother was referring to ‘Ladies of the Night,’ which is a euphemism for prostitutes. A simple google search reveals a slew of information to back this up.
This is really interesting and just for a random bit of trivia you find this in the Indonesian language too. “Perempuan” means female, generally of a young-ish age and of more biological origin whereas “wanita” (strictly for humans) implies all the prim and properness of the english word “lady” and underwent a resurgence under the Suharto era reflecting a political push for colonial-esque societal structures. Perempuan has since made a colossal comeback and it is generally perceived quite rude to say wanita to a woman in their 20s or 30s.
that is really interesting! thanks!
Firstly, I am Stunned and Furious about the BBC list of Women. Panda aside, only three of the women on that list actually did anything of note – Bachman, Na and Rousseff. The others: sexual assault victims (or alleged assault victims I guess) and Princesses. For real. Princesses. Even the second congresswoman is only in there because she was BRUTALLY MAIMED.
The fuck.
Maybe I can accept Adele being in there, she is pretty awesome.
Now i am aware that this list is about ‘headlines’ and not necessarily achievement, but I am willing to bet that the Men’s list contains far fewer people famous for being sexually assaulted.
Let’s have a look.
Ok, so there was one politician who lost popularity after an alleged sexual affair with a 13 year old. But the others are primarily legit achievers and/or demi-martyrs: sportspeople, influential politicians, POWs, writers. And the male serviceman is famous for…oh look at that, he famous for actual service as opposed to a CHARITY DATE WITH JT.
I completely agree!! So many of these women are only notable because of their relationship to a man: marriage, sexual assault, gun violence. Or you can be royalty (marriage and royalty/nobility entirely overlapping actually, on this list). And then you have a panda. Only 1/3 of the faces are famous/notable in their own right. Which, as you point out, becomes more like 10 out of 12 on the men’s list (pretty disturbing that a lot of them were perpetrators of violence or sexual misconduct though).
I should probably point out that Herman Cain didn’t have an affair with a 13 year old, he had a 13 year long affair with a woman.
Gabrielle Giffords accomplished a hell of a lot more than getting shot. She was our representative since 2006, and she was a very effective one at that. Just because you hadn’t heard of her before the tragic incident of 2011 doesn’t mean she wasn’t worth celebrating for her accomplishments.
Turns out I’m not finished.
You know what all this says to me? It says that women only make headlines when someone fucks them, or they get shot. Seriously, even Tian Tian (the panda) is actually famous for breeding.
Yep!
Calling women ‘females’ always felt to me like like referring to people of other races similarly (‘blacks’, ‘asians’, whatever). It’s equally dehumanising, and is pulling out the one feature you see about that person as being the most important way they are different to you to describe them, instantly painting them as other.
I’d prefer if people didn’t include any information that wasn’t relevant. In your example ‘you are an awesome woman, [name]‘, I personally people would say to me just ‘you are awesome’, or if they really must, ‘you are an awesome person’.
Reblogged this on resonanteye: professional tattoos, affordable paintings, and art in all mediums and commented:
“Female” is a modifying word. “Woman” is a species-specific noun, like “man”.
Learn to use the right word, because yes, you will be judged.
The (US) military uses the terms “male” and “female”… it’s not meant to be derogatory. Thoughts?
the military actually uses a lot of dehumanising terms (e.g. collaterial damage, friendly fire) which are specifically designed to de-emphasise the human victims of what they do.
Also, I like “female.” I use it with equal frequency as “male.” These words always struck me as more neutral — while some people deride them for being more “biological” and therefore “dehumanizing,” I like them for that very reason, that it refers strictly to biology without making assumptions about masculinity or femininity. “Man” and “woman,” to me, have so much baggage. I cringe when I am called a woman. It doesn’t represent my gender identity, and when I hear it I feel that others are making assumptions about it. I’ve called myself a “female” and a “girl” for my whole life. I thought I’d grow into being called a woman, but I just never felt like one — not when I got my period, not when I turned 18, not when I turned 21, not when I graduated from college, not when I turned 30 … I don’t think it’s ever happening. I’m sort of irritated by this hatred toward the word “female” that I’ve noticed lately. As long as I’m using “male” and “female” with roughly equal frequency I just don’t see the problem, unless I refer to a specific person with that word and they tell me they don’t like it.